Article Title

The Phone Call


Tim Hansen


sea gulls, beach, california

Document Type



I was told at the time I was old enough to understand that I was the exact reincarnation of John Wilkes Booth, and that when I finally became a man, I would, discriminately of course, kill the President of the United States in the coldest blood imaginable. Having such an honorable duty hanging over my head, I began to collect the President's series of stamps, pasting each one in my book with youthful fervor. I really thought that I might see one of these famous gentlemen walking along the rocky paths of our commune and bean him with my slingshot. You can imagine what a traumatic blow it was to me to find out that my mother's notions about me were only so much talk, and that she and her guru friend had been thoroughly zoned at the time they' cl told me. Being Americans, they never saw the need to renege on the lie when they were straight.