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Keywords

Scripture, beginnings

Document Type

Essay

Description

I have sat down an incalculable number of times, just as I am doing right now, to write the origin story of my eating disorder—if such a thing can exist. Each time that I am faced with this pending opportunity, I either pen out words that bear a cliché façade, or that feel painfully inauthentic or immature. Or I stare blankly at the page, unable to conjure up words that feel honest and are birthed from my own mental mouth. You see, I think the problem is that I don’t know where the beginning actually is. In the same sense that my religious congregation sings, “Do you think that you could ever. . . find out the generation where Gods began to be? Or see the grand beginning, where space did not extend?” I’m not sure this beginning even exists.

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