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BYU Studies Quarterly

BYU Studies Quarterly

Article Title

It Takes Two

Keywords

Andrea Doucet, single parenting, gender, mother, father, divine parenthood

Abstract

In 2006, Canadian fathering scholar Andrea Doucet shared an illuminating moment from her extensive research with single dads. After a long evening discussing these fathers’ experiences, Doucet asked, “In an ideal world, what resources or supports would you like to see for single fathers?” She expected to hear that they wanted greater social support and societal acceptance, more programs and policies directed at single dads. Instead, after a period of awkward silence, one dad stood and said, “An ideal world would be one with a father and a mother. We’d be lying if we pretended that wasn’t true.” Nods of agreement and expressions of approval followed from the other dads. Although many had had bitter experiences of separation and divorce, they could not ignore the inherent connectedness of mothering and fathering—and the profound deficit experienced when one or the other is not there. They knew because they lived it. Both a father and a mother are needed to create life, and as described by Doucet’s fathers and the doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, both are needed to best facilitate the nurturing of that life.

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